Day 18: Before and After Double Jaw Surgery (X-Rays)

Today was both sad and exciting.  The sad part was that my dear friend Cindi, who came all the way from California to take care of me - left to travel back home.  I would not be where I am after just a few weeks without her.  She took care of my diet, my health and kept me from going totally insane by  keeping me mentally stimulated.  After our farewell at Sydney airport, I headed straight off to see my surgeon for another follow-up appointment.

I was really excited about this appointment as I would be having new x-rays taken and would be able to compare the before (the very beginning before the SARME and braces) and after x-rays.  This meant not only would I see my new shape, I would also see the metal plates and screws in my jaw.

So without further ado, here they are.  The photos on the left were taken in December 2012 before any treatment had commenced (including before jaw widening and braces).  The photos on the right were taken on 3rd November 2014, three weeks after double jaw surgery.

You can see how my profile has changed and how many cuts in the bone there are.

This is where I really notice my aligned jaw and new chin shape. And look at how many metal plates there are!

I'm writing this post at the beginning of December but backdating it by a month to preserve the timeline.  I'll post another update to bring me right up to date shortly.

Day 16: The mirror has two faces

I wanted to start this post by saying that I am extremely happy that I had my surgery and am thrilled with the results so far.  However in the interest of writing a completely honest blog about my experiences, I'll admit that sometimes I look in the mirror and do not see any changes at all - or I scrutinise my appearance so much, like I am purposely looking for something to be wrong.  Why am I doing this to myself?

A good friend of mine who used to be overweight, told me that even when she lost her extra weight she still looked in the mirror and saw an overweight person, even though she physically was not.  She explained that I am probably in the same frame of mind.  On the outside I have changed - but on the inside I am still the same person with the same insecurities.  Now that I have changed physically, the next step is to work on the emotional change and learn to love my reflection.

This was a real light bulb moment for me and it really made me think about the way I look at myself.

Throughout this whole journey, people have had different ideas about why I would choose to go through such invasive surgery.  My family and close friends know about my insecurities in terms of how I look, while others presumed my reasons were based solely on vanity.  All of these opinions are absolutely valid, but very few people (even those mentioned) know just how deep and how far back my insecurities go.  I'm not writing this post for sympathy - I'm simply recognising it as a part of who  I am and working on my self perception.

Anyway, it's just a quick update for now.  Feel free to leave me a comment - and if you've had this surgery, how has it affected the way you see yourself?